my sister asked what type of soup I was eating but I didnt know what to say because I had just poured orange juice into a bowl and was drinking it with a spoon
like imagine if you’d never seen a dog and you saw a saint bernard and you were like, what’s that and then someone was like, thats a dog. and then you saw a chihuahua and you were like ok whats that and they were like, that’s a dog. wouldn’t you feel lied to? wouldn’t you sense that something was amiss
I think as you grow older your christmas list gets smaller and the things you really want for the holidays can’t be bought
enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes
when someone’s flaws are not flaws in your eyes, you’re fucked.mine. (via diced—pineapple)
in movies when kids sneak out through their windows and im just like why dont you have screens in your windows who doesnt have screens in their windows what do you just let bees and bugs and birds and shit fly into your room what the fuck
this is why you guys had the black plague.